Reason for Divorce
A married
woman complains to her mother: Maaa, I'm divorcing Rajpal...
Mother: Why,
what happend???
Daughter:
All he wants is just sex... My asshole is now the size of 1 rupee
coin.....!!!!! It used to be the size of a 25 paise coin earlier.
Mother
responds: Dear, you are married to a Arabpati lawyer. You live in an 8 bedroom
mansion in Amritsar. You drive a Mercedes 300SEL. You get 100,000 a week
allowance. You take 6 vacations a year. And you want to throw everything away
just for 75 paise...?????
An Excited Bride & Groom
A groom
passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best
man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face.
The best man
says, "Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up
you look so excited."
The groom
replies, "I just had the best blowjob I have ever had in my entire life
and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride
comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on
her face.
The maid of
honor notices this and says, "Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be
getting married, but what's up, you look so excited."
The bride
replies, "I have just given the last blowjob of my entire life."
How to Shower - Women vs Men
How to
Shower like a woman:
Take off
clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and
darks.
Walk to
bathroom wearing long robe.
If you see
husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your
womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts,
etc.
Get in the
shower.
Use wash
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your
hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your
hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition
your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
Wash your
face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire
rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse
conditioner off hair.
Shave
armpits and legs. Rinse off.
Turn off
shower.
Squeegee off
all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold
spots with Tilex.
Get out of
shower.
Dry with
towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in
super absorbent towel.
Return to
bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
If you see
husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to Shower like a Man:
Take off
clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked
to the bathroom.
If you see
wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
Look at your
manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your
butt.
Get in the
shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your
nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and
laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend
majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your
butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your
hair.
Make a
Shampoo Mohawk.
Pee.
Rinse off
and get out of shower.
Partially
dry off.
Fail to
notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole
time.
Admire
wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower
curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on.
Return to
bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass
wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
Throw wet
towel on bed.
If there is
anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very
wrong with you.
Source : Adult Jokes
